Musings Atop Lake Wallenpaupack
by LunaMystik
Summary: Jim angst following the major event on the boat in Booze Cruise.


Title: Musings Atop Lake Wallenpaupack

Author: LunaMystik (formerly known as Jeepgirl259)

Series: The Office (US)

Disclaimer: Not mine. Just borrowing.

Rating: K+

Warning: Post-ep for Booze Cruise. Steer (ha!) clear if you haven't seen it.

Summary: Jim angst following the major event on the boat in Booze Cruise.

Jim trailed his hand along the railing of the boat as he walked away from Michael on the starboard (or was that port?) side.

"I'm going to regret that," he said to the camera as he made his way to the stern. "Maybe not tonight, maybe not tomorrow, but someday my big mouth will come back to haunt me. Now, leave me alone and head back to the party. Big celebration going on in there."

Celebration indeed. As Jim reached the rear of the boat, all he could think about was what had slipped between his fingers, all because he'd more or less let it go. There were millions of times when he could have made a move, any move, to show Pam how he felt about her. But he'd been a wuss and had waited and hoped that time would take care of the obstacle in his path. He'd taken the easy way out, and now Pam was really going to marry Roy, and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it.

He sighed, and stared out at the water flowing behind the boat. He'd read somewhere that Lake Wallenpaupack was 13 miles long. He wondered how much of that considerable distance was between him and his car, and how long it'd be before he froze to death out in the dark water if he chose to find out. Typical Michael, planning a cruise in January, in _Northern Pennsylvania_, when all escape routes were barred by a vast expanse of cold water.

How long would it be before someone came looking for him? Katy wouldn't, of course. He'd burned that bridge good and proper back there. He spared a brief thought to what it must be like to be her right now, stuck on a boat with her ex-date's coworkers, none of which she really knew beyond the 'hi, how are you?' phase.

"She'll survive," he whispered to himself. She was pretty low on his list of worries right now, and she was hot, so no doubt Ryan or (God help her) Dwight were making sure she wasn't too lonely without him. Oh, unless those Dwight-and-Angela rumors were true… he'd have to check with Pam.

Oh, wait…

Pam wouldn't come looking, either. In the past, he could always count on her to step away from the office crowd and mock Michael's crazy schemes with him, but those days were over. Christ, she'd be another man's _wife_ in a few months! Married women didn't hang out with their single male friends. It just wasn't done. And Roy looked like the jealous, possessive type. Jim didn't think he'd be up for another episode like the one when Roy caught him leaning over Pam when they were discussing his and Dwight's "alliance". That'd been embarrassing and borderline scary.

Lost in thought, Jim could nonetheless hear the raucous sounds of the party from his sanctuary at the back of the boat. Any other party, any other girl, and he'd be in there with everyone, on his way to being cheerfully toasted and not giving a damn what his coworkers thought of him in the morning. But tonight, he was painfully sober.

"Jim? What're you doing out here alone?" It was Pam.

Jim kept his eyes focused on the water. He didn't think he could look at her right now. "I needed some air. Why aren't you celebrating your impending nuptials?" he asked, willing his voice to stay casual.

He could hear Pam fidgeting beside him. "Oh, you know, Roy…" she offered in lieu of an explanation.

She came to stand beside him at the railing, and leaned her head against his shoulder. "I can't believe this is _finally_ happening. It's almost surreal… I keep waiting for Michael to burst in screaming 'You're on Candid Camera' or something…"

Jim said nothing, but gently moved away from Pam. He needed some distance. He'd need a lot of it in the coming months. Maybe Dunder Mifflin wouldn't even be big enough for the both of them. She'd once encouraged him to look elsewhere for a better job. With his potential… what a joke that was!

"Jim? What's wrong?" she asked with concern in her voice.

To tell her, or not to tell her? That was the question… He took a deep breath and turned towards her. "Um, Katy dumped me. So I'm kinda bummed about that…"

"Oh, Jim, I am _so_ sorry! But, hey, she's been telling everyone inside that you dumped her."

"Ah, playing the sympathy card. She's smart, that one…" He let the corners of his mouth tug up into a semi-smile, hoping that she'd leave it at that.

She did. "Well, I think you're better off without her."

"Thanks, 'cause being alone is such a joy," Jim grumbled.

"Hey," she exclaimed mischievously. "Maybe I can talk Roy into making you best man, or something. Then you'll get to hook up with one of the bridesmaids!"

"Um, yeah, I don't think Roy'll go for that," he pointed out.

"Right, right. Well, I guess I'll head back inside, then. Roy must be wondering where I am."

_Somehow, I doubt it_, Jim thought. Pam sometimes seemed like little more than an afterthought to Roy when they were engaged, he didn't think it'd be any different now that they were _seriously_ engaged.

At his lack of response, Pam moved away from the railing, and from him. "Come back inside soon, 'kay? It's cold out here, and we wouldn't want you to fall overboard. Dwight would insist on doing CPR, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone," she joked, in a last-ditch effort to draw him out.

"I'll be in soon," he replied without turning around. As he heard her walk away, he felt his shoulders unclench. He turned to watch her departing figure, and spotted the camera out of the corner of his eye.

He motioned it over. "It wouldn't be so bad, this whole Pam-is-getting-married situation, if, for awhile, I hadn't thought that it might one day be more, this thing between her and me. That somehow makes it worse. Much worse."

He pushed himself off the railing and turned around, facing the camera. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some serious boozing to attend to."

And he walked off, alone, to join the party.


End file.
